I placed my hand against the wall where my friend lay. "I must not only punish, but punish with impunity." I recalled, then asked myself, "Impunity... Ha... is that still possible?" I look straight at the wall, imagining my friend in his final moments, burning... Burning... But for what? What did he do that was so wrong? What did he do to deserve this? What was it that made me bear my fangs? Insult. It was his insult.
"I remember what you've done!" I shouted, my eyes staring straight at the wall.
"I remember it all!" I yelled out, in anger, ripping my lungs.
"Every single word! Every single detail!" I screamed, watching my hands bleed as I punched the wall.
"SO TELL ME! TELL ME!" I yelped, wondering if my friend could still hear.
"Please... Tell me..."
I yelped, with the frailty in my voice, with my knees weakening, and dropping to the floor. I asked, to my friend burning on the other side of this wall.
"I remember what you've done!" I shouted, my eyes staring straight at the wall.
"I remember it all!" I yelled out, in anger, ripping my lungs.
"Every single word! Every single detail!" I screamed, watching my hands bleed as I punched the wall.
"SO TELL ME! TELL ME!" I yelped, wondering if my friend could still hear.
"Please... Tell me..."
I yelped, with the frailty in my voice, with my knees weakening, and dropping to the floor. I asked, to my friend burning on the other side of this wall.
"Why... Why am I crying?"
An hour has passed, with me doing nothing but have my back lean against a wall roughly built, the wall that sheltered my dear friend's corpse, the wall that has also aided me in killing that "dear friend". I chuckled, as I look straight up at the ceiling where drops of liquid nitre fall. Plip, plop, plip, plop. I thought it was a... most annoying sound, but it's pretty calming... I might just... Fall asleep...
I found myself in a carnival, wearing a Raven's feathers, and a Phantom of the opera mask. Peculiar, the only time I've dressed up for carnival was last year. I look at my hands, stretching and flexing my fingers and then pinching myself. Nothing, no pain... I was in a moment of realization when a familiar feeling came over me, my body was moving as if it wasn't my own. I took these big awkward steps towards somewhere, I don't know exactly where, but I have an idea. This carnival, was when Fortunato... said those insults.
I know this route. Left, right, straight, take the bridge, and keep on going straight. As I thought, it's Fortunato's home. Good... Good. Let me relive that moment so my vengeance can become justified once again! Is what I tried to tell myself. It didn't work. I was so incredibly fearful, that I shook. So utterly terrifying that it would make a grown man shake. I forced myself to turn away, but the most I could do was take a step back. My body ignored my will, controlling me so that I would open the door and enter.
The smell of wine was the first thing that you notice as you enter his house. It was just, alluring. You don't notice the couches trimmed with gold, you don't notice the golden fireplace, you notice the wine. Amontillado, the odor of Amontillado. The finest wine I have ever tasted, Amontillado. A line of drool escaped from my mouth,=== though I wiped it away as I was greeted by a man wearing a Joker's hat. Fortunato.
He was on a set of stairs, coming closer to me slowly, wearing the mask's smile. At that moment, I thought I was meant to feel afraid or terrified, but I felt so glad in seeing him once again.
"Fortunato!" I yelled out, "I have a joke for the Joker, but I think that it's a kind of gamble!"
"Your sense of humor isn't at all humorous, Montresor." He said that, though I could tell he was trying to hold back his laughter. "I was about to give you some wine too." he said, now only a couple feet away.
"Don't be like that! It's a carnival!" I said as I stepped towards him, feeling no fear. I patted him on his shoulder as I said, "And... Wine? You said?"
"Yes, yes. It's Amontillado, your favorite." He stated, smiling, as if wanting to be thanked or praised.
"Really?! Thank you, my friend. I don't know what to say, I have nothing to give in return." I said, bashfully, thinking whether or not that will satisfy him.
"It's alright, my dear friend. A gift for the carnival, you could say." He was surely proud of himself.
"Alright! Let us be off!" I yelled, as we started marching on outside.
Several hours has passed, I looked at the stars noticing that... the stars are showing! It was night time! I was having such fun that I've lost track of time! Impossible! We have only done a few things... We have not yet even rode the ferris wheel! My friend had his arm around my shoulder, walking awkwardly and reeking with the smell of wine. Even though I wanted to do so many more things, I thought it was time to leave. I let out a sigh, a large one, one that made my friend chuckle. We walked, slowly, but we walked towards his home.
Several hours seemed to have passed. I noticed this as I look at the sky. The stars blinking ever so brightly. Amazing, I've never noticed something this beautiful. I guess, if you look at something the second time, you start noticing things and be a bit more grateful. Nevertheless, it was time to go home. We walked, in the brightness of the night, we try to make our way home.
After minutes of what seemed like endless walking, we make it back to Fortunato's home. Fortunato, still drunk, had his arm around my shoulder trying his best to stay upright. I found that... quite hilarious. I reached my hand out to open the door when Fortunato told me, "That's good enough, my friend. You can go home now."
"It's alright, I'm already this far so I'll just see you away." I said, hoping if I could have some more wine.
"It's okay... It's okay." He told me this as if he wanted me to leave.
"Do you not want me here?" I asked him, kind of hurt.
"No, no, my friend. I guess you could stay... If you'd like." He said, nervously.
"Are you hiding something from me?" I asked him, suspicious of what he could have done.
"I cannot hide this anymore. It's been killing me." He took his arm off of me and wobbled on his own two feet. He opened the door and gestured me to come in.
I took awkward steps inside, nervous of what was about to happen. It was then I took a seat on his couch, opposite of the side Fortunato was sitting at. He laid in front of me a glass of Amontillado whereas I took a sip.
"There is no easy way to say this, my friend. But I was the cause of your father's death." He said to me, looking straight at my eyes with determination and no fear.
"What?" I was in a moment of disbelief, "That's impossible... My father died of an illness!"
"Yes, yes. He did." He told me, starting to look away.
"Then you couldn't-"
"I gave him poisoned wine." My head was starting to spin, disbelief or not, I felt sick.
"No..."
"And... I've done the same to you."
"What?"
"You will only knock out and receive a bit of memory loss. It's not the least bit lethal. Let's be friends again yes?"
My head was starting to spin. My vision became blurry. I became quite sleepy but I heard Forunato say some words before I went away.
"No one punishes me with impunity. Not even your father."
It felt like a horse trampled over me.
I was back in reality. It was cold and I could still hear the sounds of the liquid Nitre falling. Plip, plop, plip, plop. "It didn't work... Fortunato, that poison didn't work." I said to myself, with me looking at the gleam of the Nitre. I stood up and bid my dear friend away. I turned around, with my hand placed on my heart I said, "Impunity is impossible. I regret everything." I pulled out a small vial of glass from my pocket, opened the cork and drank it. "It's time to go... I guess."
I know this route. Left, right, straight, take the bridge, and keep on going straight. As I thought, it's Fortunato's home. Good... Good. Let me relive that moment so my vengeance can become justified once again! Is what I tried to tell myself. It didn't work. I was so incredibly fearful, that I shook. So utterly terrifying that it would make a grown man shake. I forced myself to turn away, but the most I could do was take a step back. My body ignored my will, controlling me so that I would open the door and enter.
The smell of wine was the first thing that you notice as you enter his house. It was just, alluring. You don't notice the couches trimmed with gold, you don't notice the golden fireplace, you notice the wine. Amontillado, the odor of Amontillado. The finest wine I have ever tasted, Amontillado. A line of drool escaped from my mouth,=== though I wiped it away as I was greeted by a man wearing a Joker's hat. Fortunato.
He was on a set of stairs, coming closer to me slowly, wearing the mask's smile. At that moment, I thought I was meant to feel afraid or terrified, but I felt so glad in seeing him once again.
"Fortunato!" I yelled out, "I have a joke for the Joker, but I think that it's a kind of gamble!"
"Your sense of humor isn't at all humorous, Montresor." He said that, though I could tell he was trying to hold back his laughter. "I was about to give you some wine too." he said, now only a couple feet away.
"Don't be like that! It's a carnival!" I said as I stepped towards him, feeling no fear. I patted him on his shoulder as I said, "And... Wine? You said?"
"Yes, yes. It's Amontillado, your favorite." He stated, smiling, as if wanting to be thanked or praised.
"Really?! Thank you, my friend. I don't know what to say, I have nothing to give in return." I said, bashfully, thinking whether or not that will satisfy him.
"It's alright, my dear friend. A gift for the carnival, you could say." He was surely proud of himself.
"Alright! Let us be off!" I yelled, as we started marching on outside.
Several hours has passed, I looked at the stars noticing that... the stars are showing! It was night time! I was having such fun that I've lost track of time! Impossible! We have only done a few things... We have not yet even rode the ferris wheel! My friend had his arm around my shoulder, walking awkwardly and reeking with the smell of wine. Even though I wanted to do so many more things, I thought it was time to leave. I let out a sigh, a large one, one that made my friend chuckle. We walked, slowly, but we walked towards his home.
Several hours seemed to have passed. I noticed this as I look at the sky. The stars blinking ever so brightly. Amazing, I've never noticed something this beautiful. I guess, if you look at something the second time, you start noticing things and be a bit more grateful. Nevertheless, it was time to go home. We walked, in the brightness of the night, we try to make our way home.
After minutes of what seemed like endless walking, we make it back to Fortunato's home. Fortunato, still drunk, had his arm around my shoulder trying his best to stay upright. I found that... quite hilarious. I reached my hand out to open the door when Fortunato told me, "That's good enough, my friend. You can go home now."
"It's alright, I'm already this far so I'll just see you away." I said, hoping if I could have some more wine.
"It's okay... It's okay." He told me this as if he wanted me to leave.
"Do you not want me here?" I asked him, kind of hurt.
"No, no, my friend. I guess you could stay... If you'd like." He said, nervously.
"Are you hiding something from me?" I asked him, suspicious of what he could have done.
"I cannot hide this anymore. It's been killing me." He took his arm off of me and wobbled on his own two feet. He opened the door and gestured me to come in.
I took awkward steps inside, nervous of what was about to happen. It was then I took a seat on his couch, opposite of the side Fortunato was sitting at. He laid in front of me a glass of Amontillado whereas I took a sip.
"There is no easy way to say this, my friend. But I was the cause of your father's death." He said to me, looking straight at my eyes with determination and no fear.
"What?" I was in a moment of disbelief, "That's impossible... My father died of an illness!"
"Yes, yes. He did." He told me, starting to look away.
"Then you couldn't-"
"I gave him poisoned wine." My head was starting to spin, disbelief or not, I felt sick.
"No..."
"And... I've done the same to you."
"What?"
"You will only knock out and receive a bit of memory loss. It's not the least bit lethal. Let's be friends again yes?"
My head was starting to spin. My vision became blurry. I became quite sleepy but I heard Forunato say some words before I went away.
"No one punishes me with impunity. Not even your father."
It felt like a horse trampled over me.
I was back in reality. It was cold and I could still hear the sounds of the liquid Nitre falling. Plip, plop, plip, plop. "It didn't work... Fortunato, that poison didn't work." I said to myself, with me looking at the gleam of the Nitre. I stood up and bid my dear friend away. I turned around, with my hand placed on my heart I said, "Impunity is impossible. I regret everything." I pulled out a small vial of glass from my pocket, opened the cork and drank it. "It's time to go... I guess."
Wow! What a twist of events! Really cool though, I enjoyed seeing what you put and kinda wish there was more to read. Very creative work! :)
ReplyDeleteI love how you first portray Montresor as insane. He must have had some guilt, and I felt that you adding that in really developed the story. Great job.
ReplyDeleteI liked how you twisted the story in a way that no one would have expected it. You also used great detail and it helped me understand more. Good job.
ReplyDeleteGood job Nadrian. I like the story you made up for what Fortunato did to Montressor. I also like how you made him recall the memory as if it was right after the story.
ReplyDeleteThis was great and all but I see a flaw. You say in the beginning that Montresor remembers the insult. Later on, you said that Montresor was mad because Fortunsto killed his father. There was no insult.
ReplyDeleteOH YEAH!!! Thanks.
DeleteI really liked the way you started off with Montresor in the future, then went back to explain what had happened to him, then back to future Montresor. The fact the Fortunato killed his father really put a spin on what I would have thought to come next!
ReplyDeleteOne of my favorite parts is where you transition from present into the past with the description of what Montresor is dressed up as...great imagery! I was a little confused at the end - did the wine not give him memory loss? Why did Fortunato want Montresor's father dead?
ReplyDeleteThanks. The ending was where I was kind of confused to, writing it was rea~lly challenging. It was hard to create a piece that fits your story while also making it fit along with the original. I feel as if my ending is kind of rush, it doesn't ease the piece into an ending. It kind of like, knocked me out and skipped an entire day...
Delete